A to Z: Piece of Quiet

It was a Saturday evening. I had done the dumbest thing I have ever done in my teaching career and was paying the price for it. So I sat at my kitchen table, trying desperately to score a stack of about 150 position papers (almost all of which were plagiarized from the same three sources, I might add).

I say "trying desperately" because I had NO desire whatsoever to be doing what I was doing. I had been forced by the powers that be to inflict torture on myself via the aforementioned essay assignment. Foolishly, however, I made it into the semester final exam. Grades were due in just three days, and I had to grade them quickly.

First of all, grading essays is no picnic, regardless of the writing ability. But when you have to read essentially the same three essays 150 times -- and they weren't even that well written to begin with -- you get the strange, yet overwhelming desire to jab your red ink pen into your eye.

So there I sat at the kitchen table trying desperately to grade papers and to avoid my periodic involuntary attempts to put out my own eye. My two energetic and very boisterous children began to "play" in the living room about ten feet away from the table. This was more than I could handle. I stood up suddenly, slammed my hands down on the table and announced (or rather, bellowed), "I WANT PEACE - AND QUIET!!!"

My children were slightly taken aback at this outburst, but not really enough to move their game elsewhere. Instead, my son -- bless his heart -- sidled up to me slowly with his hand in his pocket. He pulled his hand out of his pocket wryly and handed me his fist. He said, "Mom, here is a piece of quiet. You can eat it... then, you can IGNORE us."

A to Z: Lack of Personality

I know you may find this hard to believe, but a few years ago one of my friends told me that a couple different people asked her if I had a personality.

Yeah.

Like you I was slightly disturbed that someone would even say that, but then I realized... Oh, yeah! It's not true!

You probably don't know this about me, but I'm a little shy. Sometimes shy can come across as stuck up, and apparently it can be perceived as void of personality. But once you get to know me you will (hopefully) find that the opposite of those two things is actually true.

Anyway, shortly after that conversation with my friend I told someone else what she said, and that person almost peed her pants (literally) laughing at the absurdity. Well, in honor of my lack of personality I composed a little introduction of myself. I hope you find it as edifying and bladder-defying as I do.

(Read this in a monotone.)

The verdict is in. I have no personality. It is unfortunate, I know. Perhaps this does not come as a surprise to you. English teachers are tedious as a rule. I am no exception. My deadpan expression. My blank stare. My humorless chortle. Yes, it's true. I have no personality. If you're looking for personality, you've come to the wrong place. There's nothing to see here. Just go about your business.

When you see me in a room full of people, do not smile, or wave, or try to tell me a joke. I won't laugh -- not even on the inside. You see, I have no personality. And I don't care for people who do. I'll tolerate them, yes. But only because no personality also means no depth of sentiment. I'm shallow. I'm apathetic. I have no interest in my environment. No passion. No ambition. No variety of sentence structure. It all goes together, you see. I have no personality.

I'll leave you with one final thought. Since I have no personality, one thing I can never develop is a personality disorder. And, somehow, even that does not excite me... I have no personality.

A to Z: Ice cream

My brother was always teasing me -- that's just what brothers do, I guess -- but we had a special bond growing up, so there was also a lot of friendly competition between us.

I remember one hot day Mom had given us each an ice cream cone to cool us off after working up a sweat outside. It was one of those situations big brothers mustmake into a competition. After all, that's just what brothers do. So David decided he would challenge me to a race.

"Hey," he said with a sparkle in his blue eyes and that flashy mischievous grin. "Let's see who can eat their ice cream the fastest!"

"Okay!" I countered, always looking for a way to beat him. Like a whiz I was off slurping and even biting my ice cream, casting occasional sidelong glances to monitor my big brother's progress. Naturally, when I saw he was not anywhere near catching up to me, I became suspicious. But not wanting to lose the competition, I quickly finished and then stood up with a triumphant smirk. Much to my chagrin, my gaze met a smug older brother who announced, "Now I can enjoy mine!" and took a long, emphatic lick of his ice cream as close to my face as dared. Needless to say, I never fell for that evil ploy again.

A to Z: Favorites

The sound of my children's laughter.

Freshly baked bread.

Reading a good book.

Summer vacation.

Clean sheets.

Drinking coffee with friends.

A hug from my mom.

Brainstorming ideas for writing.

The look on a student's face when they finally "get it".

Movie and popcorn night.

My own bed.

Dr. Pepper.

Almond Joy.

Basketball.

Writing.

Alaskan scenery.

Home.

...these are a few of my favorite things.

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A to Z: Enmity

We were driving home from the store — way past lunch time, if you know what I mean. The kids were hungry, and they rarely deal well with that. My daughter started to tease my older son about his younger brother growing up to be taller than him. She gets ornery...  He gets fussy. Not a good combination, but we deal with it.

I was driving, so I listened to the argument in the back seat for a couple of minutes just to see if they would work it out.

"The youngest one is always the tallest. Mom said so."

"No they're not! Stop saying that!"

It went on like that for a while. Clearly they weren't going to work it out on their own. I stepped in. "I said, 'sometimes,' sweetie. 'Sometimes the youngest is the tallest.'"

My son must have spied some kind of hope in the words. Adamantly, he informed his sister, "This is NOT a sometimes family!"

A to Z: Children

I think most of us have experienced this. If not as a parent, at least as a child. You're trapped in a small enclosed space with your worst enemy (a sibling). It's a road trip. And it doesn't matter if they are trying to bug you or not -- they BUG you. At some point during the trip, you will hear someone say, "MO-OM! SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!"

We had a similar experience. We were in the car, which is much more crowded than the van. We were on a short trip... just to church.My son and daughter were rubbing elbows -- literally -- and that is NOT a good thing. He was tired and not in the mood to be trifled with, plus he was going to church -- not his favorite.

After the usually bickering about which seatbelt belonged to whom and who was touching whom(to which, of course, I had wisely replied, "Keep your hands to yourselves"), my daughter committed one final crime which could not be tolerated in even the worst of torture chambers:

"MO-OM!!! Her doll is LOOKING at me!"

Well, I'm sorry, but it was so funny I just had to laugh. I mean, her doll? That was one I had never heard. However, my laughing was also not to be tolerated (I probably did overdo it a bit-- but, dang it, that was funny!).

In utter exasperation, my son turned his anger on me, "MOM, THAT IS ZERO PER CENT FUNNY!"

Kids... you gotta love 'em!

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A to Z: Books

All-Time Favorites:

Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers

California’s gold country, 1850. A time when men sold their souls for a bag of gold and women sold their bodies for a place to sleep.

Angel expects nothing from men but betrayal. Sold into prostitution as a child, she survives by keeping her hatred alive. And what she hates most are the men who use her, leaving her empty and dead inside.

Then she meets Michael Hosea, a man who seeks his Father’s heart in everything. Michael obeys God’s call to marry Angel and to love her unconditionally. Slowly, day by day, he defies Angel’s every bitter expectation, until despite her resistance, her frozen heart begins to thaw.

But with her unexpected softening comes overwhelming feelings of unworthiness and fear. And so Angel runs. Back to the darkness, away from her husband’s pursuing love, terrified of the truth she no longer can deny: Her final healing must come from the One who loves her even more than Michael does…the One who will never let her go.

A powerful retelling of the story of Gomer and Hosea, Redeeming Love is a life-changing story of God’s unconditional, redemptive, all-consuming love.


Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

In order to develop a secure defense against a hostile alien race's next attack, government agencies breed child geniuses and train them as soldiers. A brilliant young boy, Andrew "Ender" Wiggin lives with his kind but distant parents, his sadistic brother Peter, and the person he loves more than anyone else, his sister Valentine. Peter and Valentine were candidates for the soldier-training program but didn't make the cut—young Ender is the Wiggin drafted to the orbiting Battle School for rigorous military training.

Ender's skills make him a leader in school and respected in the Battle Room, where children play at mock battles in zero gravity. Yet growing up in an artificial community of young soldiers Ender suffers greatly from isolation, rivalry from his peers, pressure from the adult teachers, and an unsettling fear of the alien invaders. His psychological battles include loneliness, fear that he is becoming like the cruel brother he remembers, and fanning the flames of devotion to his beloved sister.

Is Ender the general Earth needs? But Ender is not the only result of the genetic experiments. The war with the Buggers has been raging for a hundred years, and the quest for the perfect general has been underway for almost as long. Ender's two older siblings are every bit as unusual as he is, but in very different ways. Between the three of them lie the abilities to remake a world. If, that is, the world survives.

Ender's Game is the winner of the 1985 Nebula Award for Best Novel and the 1986 Hugo Award for Best Novel.

The Seduction of Sebastian St. James by Rachel Van Dyken

When the angelic Duke of Tempest, Sebastian St. James, appeared unexpectedly at his boyhood friend’s home, he had but one goal: Find a suitable wife as soon as possible. However, his impeccable reputation made him a prime target for ambitious mothers of debutante daughters. He needed a plan.

Help came in the form of an unlikely alliance with Miss Emma Gates, the beautiful daughter of a wealthy viscount, who has deemed herself on the shelf, and only wants to marry in order to appease her parents. Together they could sort through the mire of would-be mates to find their perfect matches. That is, if they could keep their hands off each other long enough to pursue likely candidates.

When a man from Emma’s past makes a play for her hand, the truth about her life threatens to destroy Sebastian’s reputation, a reputation he has carefully guarded since his youth. In the end, the Angel Duke has to make a choice that will end up changing his reputation forever.


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A to Z: Alaska

Alaska is one of my favorite places in the world. I lived there throughout junior high and high school until I went to college in Florida.

I always dream of someday going back, but my husband is a stationary creature, and has never lived anywhere but within the fifty mile radius of his hometown. Sadly, I think my dream is just that.

Main Street of my home town at Christmas.

Thanks you to Arlee Bird for the idea of the A to Z Challenge!

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