Sweet Saturday: Walls

She had taken them by choice—the drugs to suppress her hormones. So the connection she shared with Teo was purely emotional. A deep-seated connection between them that transcended physical interest. And she knew, with Teo, that it was the same for him. All stems were treated with the same hormone suppressing chemicals.

Teo had never needed to touch her. Never wanted to kiss her. Those thoughts were so far from his mind, she knew she was safe with him.

Completely safe.

Completely.

The way Wash was looking at her now frightened her. He was real. Real and fully aware of her effect on him.

Aria tried to speak, but her voice caught in her throat, choking her.

"You seem upset," he whispered and took a step closer.

She shook her head adamantly, still unable to speak. Upset? No. Scared to death— that would be more accurate.

No one had touched her in years. Not since... No. She refused to think about it and pushed the dark memory from her mind. It was different now. This was different.

"Then what is it? You're shaking." Wash took another step, coming within reach of her. He lifted his hands and gently rested them on her shoulders, tipping his head to see into her downcast eyes.

She was trembling. She could feel it all through her and the sensation of his hands on her arms doubled the response. The pulse in her neck throbbed so loudly she swore he would hear it.

"Aria?" His deep voice swept over her, drowning her senses.

She was losing herself. Losing sight of who she was—what her life was.

"I—I can't... You can't," Aria stammered, fighting the urge to fall into his embrace. It was only Wash. She had known him for just a few days. He was nothing to her.

But no matter how she chanted that mantra, she knew —it wasn't true.

"It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."

"Yes! Yes, you will!" She stepped backward out of his reach. "Don't touch me—" Emotion stung her eyes now, and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold back the tears much longer.

She had to get away from him. Had to escape his view. No one must see her cry, know that she was vulnerable. And definitely not Wash. That would be more that Aria could bear, and she was already dangerously close to letting him beyond her carefully constructed walls.

~One Lonely Rose (work in progress, Endfield #2)