Tuesday, April 16, 2013
A to Z: Lack of Personality
I know you may find this hard to believe, but a few years ago one of my friends told me that a couple different people asked her if I had a personality.
Like you I was slightly disturbed that someone would even say that, but then I realized... Oh, yeah! It's not true!
You probably don't know this about me, but I'm a little shy. Sometimes shy can come across as stuck up, and apparently it can be perceived as void of personality. But once you get to know me you will (hopefully) find that the opposite of those two things is actually true.
Anyway, shortly after that conversation with my friend I told someone else what she said, and that person almost peed her pants (literally) laughing at the absurdity. Well, in honor of my lack of personality I composed a little introduction of myself. I hope you find it as edifying and bladder-defying as I do.
(Read this in a monotone.)
The verdict is in. I have no personality. It is unfortunate, I know. Perhaps this does not come as a surprise to you. English teachers are tedious as a rule. I am no exception. My deadpan expression. My blank stare. My humorless chortle. Yes, it's true. I have no personality. If you're looking for personality, you've come to the wrong place. There's nothing to see here. Just go about your business.
When you see me in a room full of people, do not smile, or wave, or try to tell me a joke. I won't laugh -- not even on the inside. You see, I have no personality. And I don't care for people who do. I'll tolerate them, yes. But only because no personality also means no depth of sentiment. I'm shallow. I'm apathetic. I have no interest in my environment. No passion. No ambition. No variety of sentence structure. It all goes together, you see. I have no personality.
I'll leave you with one final thought. Since I have no personality, one thing I can never develop is a personality disorder. And, somehow, even that does not excite me... I have no personality.